The three goblins and the fish maker
Once upon a time there was some goblins and a fishmaker. The fishmaker lived in a castle.
One day the goblins were trying to kill the fishmakers goldfish. If the goblins kill the goldfish, the goblins will be the king of world and no one will ever be able to kill the goblins.
One day the fishmaker went fishing for more fish. Later the fishmaker went back to his castle and discovered that goldfish was gone. The goblins took it.
The fishmaker went out of his castle and went in his car. He went to the goblins house and he crept inside. He saw the goldfish in the goblins tank and he took the goldfish and went out of the goblins house and went back to his castle. He put the goldfish back in the tank and went to sleep.
The next morning the fishmaker fed the goldfish and the fishmaker had breakfast and then got his hat and then he went to the beach. He was swimming and he found a shell and then the fish maker went to his castle to pot the shell in the goldfish tank. Then the fishmaker had dinner and then the fish maker went to sleep.
Next the goblins took the goldfish and went to there house. Next morning the fishmaker went to feed the goldfish but then the fishmaker saw nothing and the fishmaker got mad and sad. Then the fishmaker went to get a hammer and went to the goblins house and killed one goblin and went home with his hammer and got his goldfish.
Next he put the goldfish back to the fish tank and gave the goldfish some food and then the fishmaker had dinner. He had fish and meat and fruit to eat then the fishmaker went to sleep.
Then the two goblins went to take the goldfish and went to there house and put the goldfish in their tank with oil. The next morning the fish maker woke up and went to feed the goldfish but the fishmaker saw bones.
Then the fishmaker went to the two goblins house with an axe when the fish maker was by the door the fishmaker hit the small goblin with the axe. Then the fishmaker went home with his axe with blood on it. He put the goldfish back in the tank safely then he had dinner. He had spaghetti and mince for dinner. Then he went to sleep for the night.
The next morning he woke up and it was a beautiful day. He had breakfast but first he had to feed his goldfish breakfast. Luckily the last goblin had not taken his goldfish. He gave the goldfish it’s favourite breakfast. The fishmaker went out to play with his friends. While he was playing with his friends the tall goblin scratched one of the fishmakers friends. The fishmaker caught him and took him inside and killed him and they all lived happily ever after.
2 comments:
I like your stor is very cool
Kyle, I enjoyed reading your fractured fairytale. You thoroughly enjoyed our Fairytales unit and wanted to keep writing! You have worked well towards the learning intention which was to rewrite a known fairy tale using the elements of narrative writing. You used the success criteria to help you create a fairytale for your audience. I particularly like how you used time connectives and built up your story towards the end. Your next step is to work on ensuring you make sure you don't repeat yourself and draw out the story for too long. Remember quality is better than quantity. Try not to add words in to make it longer and only put in detail that adds value to the story!
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